On a night like all the other nights,
she leans in, mouth stained red with wine, and whispers
“You know it’s always been you, right?”
Then she wants to kiss.
Then she wants to talk about love like it
isn’t a promise to you, and you let her,
because you’re lonely and you’ve only ever been hungry for this.
On a night like all the other nights,
she goes home with him, instead.
She messes up his sheets and wakes
up tangled in him like ivy growing up the side of a house, and it isn’t you.
You realize it’s never going to be you.
Remember what she sounds like when
she tells you she loves you,
when she wipes her nose with shaking hands and says you’re the only woman, the only soft she ever wants to sink her hands into.
Find the lie and hold it between
your teeth like a grenade pin.
Go home alone and pick the shrapnel
out of your chest.
How can you do it?
How can you love her when she takes it all out of you and keeps it?
Oh, but you do, on the nights like all the other nights,
on the mornings when
she wakes up and kisses him honest.
You will always be waiting for her,
like a train that never comes, a phone that never rings,
a hand that never holds,
and nothing will ever feel more extraordinary.

Caitlyn Siehl, Waiting (via alonesomes)

Kapagka desperada gagawin lahat hahahahaha

yeheyyyy salamat naretrieve ko na ulet. xD

Nawala na lahat ng files ko HAHAHA KALOKA

Sometimes it’s not about missing someone. It’s wondering if they’re missing you.

(via kheenlovesyou)

for days and days i will pretend
you just went out to search for your broken pieces,
not that you’ve had enough
of holding mine.
i am still wearing my heart
on my sleeve. i was thinking maybe
you’d come back looking for it.

for nights and nights i will pretend
to lock the door. i was thinking maybe
while i toss and turn in bed drowning
in your memories, you’d come knocking,
all dried lips and hungry skin.

i will try not to strain my ears for
the sound of your footsteps. i will try
not to keep searching for your scent
in the month-old sheets. i will try
to believe how maybe you just
lost your way back.

but i will never
stop hoping that wherever you are now
and whoever you dream with,
somewhere in your wildest dreams
your memories of me lie
hiding.



i know you still dream about me, inklustt (via inklustt)

Dili ko okay! Piste ayaw pangutana kay abnormal kayko nganong ing-ani akong gibati -_____- HAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

if i told you I loved you would it make you want to stay?

If I wrote you a love song would it ever be enough to make you come back home and stay?

Okay, so what do I do? Hindi ko na alam. Punyeta naman tong ganito eh. Once and for all, nakapag decide na akong mag-move on at ibaon ka sa limot pero andiyan ka sinasabing masaya ka kapag andito ako. Sabi mo importante ako sa buhay mo. Hindi ko alam kung maniniwala ako sa mga pinagsasasabi mo. Eh sa dinamirami na naman ng kalokohan ang ginawa mo sa akin, karapatdapat ka pa bang pagkatiwalaan?

Alam mo bang nabobobo ako sayo? Hindi ko alam ano ako sa buhay mo at ano mo talaga ako. May mga panahong napapasaya mo ako pero hindi eh, mali. Alam mong mahal kita, at alam kong may mahal kang iba pero heto tayo sa isang komplikadong hindi ko alam anong maitatawag dito. Siguro ako yung may kasalanan kasi umaasa akong mamahalin mo rin ako tulad ng dati. Yung mararamdaman ko ulit yung sinseridad mo at makikita ko yung dating sigla at saya mo tuwing ako yung kausap at kaharap mo. Pero wala. Hanggang ngayon wala.

Matagal na akong pagod sa kung ano mang mayroon tayo. Kaibigan mo ako, oo. Pero hindi pupwedeng ganito. Habang tumatagal lalong lumalalim yung sugat, mas lalo akong nasasaktan. Kahit wala kang ginagawang masama at wala akong karapatang magselos, magalit at magdemand, eto ako muntanga sa kakahintay at kakaasa.

Mahal kita. Oo, mahal kita. Ikaw parin at walang iba. Pero tama na. Sobra na. Sawa na ako. Napapagod din naman ako. Hindi ako bato at hindi ako manhid tulad mo na kaya kong balewalain ang nararamdaman ng ibang tao. Sa totoo lang naaawa na ako sa sarili `ko, sa tinagal ba naman na kilala kita mas marami pa yung oras at panahon na nasasaktan ako kaysa sumaya ako dahil sayo. Hindi nga talaga ikaw yung para sa akin, pero nagpapasalamat parin ako dahil dumating ka sa buhay ko kahit papaano. Marami akong natutunan dahil sayo at naranasan kong masaktan at magpakatanga na hindi ko nagawa sa buong buhay ko. Swerte mo `pre. Sayo lang ako nagkaganito. The Almighty Me.

Eto na siguro ang pinakahuling ‘GOODBYE MESSAGE’ ang gagawin ko para sayo. Simula nang nakilala kita hindi ko na mabilang ilang beses ako nagpaalam sayo pero nauuto mo parin ako para manatili sa buhay mo. Pero punung-puno na ako at nauubos na ang ekta-ektaryang pasensya kong inilaan para sayo. Nasasaid na yung tubig sa mata ko, tama na. Baka kasi ma-dehydrate na ako. Ayaw ko namang magkasakit dahil sa kagagahan ko sayo.

Sana naman maging masaya ka sa buhay mo. Ipagpatuloy mo kung ano man ang pinagkakaabalahan mo ngayon. Siguro darating ang panahong tatawanan ko nalang ang lahat nang nangyari sa buhay ko nung dumating ka. At marealize kong ang immature ko pa pala talaga para sa ganitong bagay - na sana isang araw kapag nakita kita, ngingitian kita at sasabihing, “Oy, kamusta? Kasi okay na ako at yun ay dahil sayo.”